Currently: Sitting in an Irish pub in Westborough, MA (okay, it’s probably a chain, but I am not from here so I don’t know any better…) Laptop open on the bar top (good idea? Not sure) and sipping Rieseling while I wait for my Pear and Pecan salad to be handed to me. For some reason I can’t get the internet to work so I am using good old Microsoft Word. Honestly, it is kind of nice. I have come to like being unplugged. I know this is a thorn in my friend’s sides when it comes to keeping in contact with me, but I really do enjoy being disconnected from anything outside of my immediate surroundings.
Okay, but the point of this post: what the hell have I been up to, and what am I doing, and what does my life look like now that we got back from Mexico. Here we go…
Everything is all over the place, but we are starting to settle into a routine step by step. We are going to stay in Casper for another 6 months and then re evaluate (Oh goodness yes, Savage Garden just starting blasting through the dark atmosphere of this Pub. Be still my 12 year old heart.) Anyways, Casper. Staying. For now. My number one priority last year was getting in touch with my creativity. I swung that pendulum REALLY far on that one, and thank goodness for that, because while the whole teaching yoga, beach life thing didn’t end up being my cup of tea, I still ended up putting some time and effort into this blog and I absolutely love it. It is such a great outlet for me and I am so happy this was something that stuck. Anyways, that was last year - this year my focus is finances. I need to figure this piece of life out. I have so many blocks, bad habits, and self sabotage when it comes to my personal finances, and it is time to iron it all out.
I knew it was going to take some focus, some effort, and some getting out of my comfort zone. It has definitely been all of that. But I feel like selling everything and going to Mexico prepped me for some re calibration. I don’t think I would have been able to make some of these life changing decisions that I am making last year. I didn’t know how, and I wasn’t ready to sacrifice yet. While Mexico didn’t give me what I was expecting, it did prep me for the next steps I really wanted to make.
When it comes to money, I have tried making more. I have tried spending less. I have tried eliminating unnecessary bills. I have tried the cash only. I have tried the card only. I have read the books. I have done the crying. I have tried to hide money issues. I have tried to be up front and honest with money issues. I have done it all. I moved into less expensive apartments, made some progress, but then dug myself another hole two months later. Basically, it has been a 2 steps forward, one step back routine for years.
I keep hearing and reading that if you want something, you have to give it away. If you want love, start loving harder. If you want happiness, start giving happiness. Even financially, if you want more money, give it away. The new age side of me buys into this whole heartedly. It’s not so much the material thing being given away, but the energy behind it. If you want the Universe to provide, you have to show how committed you are…giving something precious away when all you want is more of it is a great shift in energy. I know I know, it’s out there but let’s look at the facts.
I sold everything and quit my job. I was pretty unhappy in Mexico, but tried to keep my spirits up and soul searched my way through every sleepless, worry filled night. I found a balance between doing everything I could possibly do to have things work in my favor while also praying and leaving room for things to fall into place the way that was true to me, and not how I was hoping and controlling them into.
Fast forward 4 hard months, and I found the perfect job. It gives me the freedom of being my own boss, while also giving me the security and structure of a corporate job. I get to work from wherever I want, I love my co workers, and I get to develop my sales skills…something I knew I needed to revist, even though I have been super hesitant to admit it. (Doing something you don’t think you are good at is not an easy decision after all.) Not to mention I have the opportunity to basically triple my income. But it’s honestly not all about the income. We are going to be paying one fourth of the rent I was paying in Denver, and I wont be tempted to go downtown every weekend, so I had already eliminated a lot of spending. My budget already had room, but by letting go and giving up control, and asking genuinely every day to be guided to where I should be, I was given an opportunity to not only reduce my spending, but increase my income exponentially – all while working from the comfort of wherever I decide to be.
It really feels too good to be true. But at the same time, I know it’s because I am making different decisions. Would I like to get an apartment in Denver and see my friends every weekend, and eat out at new restaurants, and attend all the parties, and have my closest friends a short drive away? OF COURSE. But that isn’t my priority right now. It’s not my focus. So it has to be sacrificed.
Well, now that I have a family here with me, some re established habits, and a sense of adventure, I am ready to those sacrifices that I was not ready to make a year ago.
To sum it up: We are staying in Casper for the next 6 months and then we will reevaluate if we want to stay, or go back to CO. I want to kick ass at my job. I want to carve out time every month to make sure I see my CO friends and get some city time in…but the rest of the time I want to drive to the many lakes at our disposal, watch the puppies chase deer, cuddle my family every night, fly to Boston for work, and sip wine while I blog in a random Irish pub in Massachusetts.
I wasn’t ready to shake up my life enough for it to change a year ago. Today every day is a shake up, and I couldn’t be happier about it.
P.S. I immediately regret not getting the fish and chips. Irish pubs can’t do salads. Life is full of lessons…